In my last post, I asked what freedom means for you and how much you may be limiting your own expression of your freedoms. In this post, we’ll review specific areas of your life and identify steps you can take to feel freer every day.
Think about how all of your lifestyle choices either support or hold back your freedom:
Friends
Do the friends that you’ve chosen support you when you come up with crazy, bold ideas? Are they open to you living your life on your own terms?
Or do they tell you to “get real” and get off your high horse and join them back in their comfortable mediocrity?
We are the sum of the five people we spend the most time with so choose your five people wisely.
Home
Think about your home. We’ve been brainwashed into thinking that a big home with a big, fat mortgage provides investment and tax “advantages.” In most of the country, those investment advantages just don’t exist anymore. The home we bought over 12 years ago is worth very little more today than what we bought it for back then.
And that “tax advantage?” Sure, I get to pay tens of thousands of dollars in interest to the bank each year so I can reduce my taxes by a third or less of that. What a deal. Would you trade me a dollar for $0.25 back? That’s the tax advantage.
Suddenly renting doesn’t seem so bad. We’ve been told that rent is sunk money. Well so is 75% of the mortgage interest you’re paying every year. And most of your monthly payments are interest.
With renting you’re not so tied to where you live. You can leave on pretty short notice without worrying about how long it will take to sell your place. You don’t have to worry about how you’ll pay for those big repairs when they sneak up on you (a new roof, water heater, siding, heating or air conditioning system, etc.).
Think renting can restrict what you can do in your home? Think about the crazy restrictions placed on homeowners in subdivisions. It’s nuts.
What are the three highest values in your life? Does the home you live in support those values? What kind of home does?
Children
If you have kids, do you feel stuck sometimes because there are just things you “can’t” do with kids? Think you can’t travel the world because they’re supposed to be in school?
I’ve met a number of people using the world as their classroom as they homeschool their kids (yes, even little ones) as they travel, sail or RV the world.
Don’t blame your kids for slowing you down. Take them along for the ride.
Finances
How much are you sacrificing your freedom with your financial choices and how you spend your money?
Planning for retirement
Think you need $2 million in the bank in order to retire? It’s time to rethink the notion of retirement that was established back in the 1920’s – yes, that’s about 100 years ago. Things have changed a little since then.
The eligible age for social security was set around 65 years of age because that’s about when men started to die shortly after they retired. Their lives and sense of self were so tied up in their jobs and they basically had nothing to do when they retired so they had nothing to live for and literally died.
You don’t need $2 million to live out your life on. Find something you’re passionate about and generate some money from it. Create an asset that generates money for you. Simplify your life so you don’t need so much.
Do what you’re passionate about until you die. You’ll die happy.
Financial habits
Is how you’re spending your money and possibly generating debt sabotaging your freedom? Every dollar of debt you accumulate robs you of the ability to do something great in the future. Are you selling out your future freedom for a nick-nack or a little fun today?
I unwittingly made that choice for years racking up tens of thousands of dollars in debt. Just when I wondered how the hell I would ever pay it off, I got a big bonus at my job that wiped it out. Sure it was nice to suddenly have no debt but I didn’t learn anything in the process and proceeded to rack up more debt. And I think back at all the awesome things I could have done with that money and kick myself – hard. The stuff I accumulated that created the debt was hardly worth it.
After digging myself out again and doing something I always considered unthinkable, especially for me, like declaring bankruptcy, I’ve finally learned my lessons. I’ll never have another credit card again. I’ll never have reserve lines of credit to tap into “just in case.” Having no safety net made of debt used to freak me out. Now I know it’s the best thing for me. I’ve accepted it and am creating a life of abundance for myself and my family.
I have to create my own safety net of savings and I’ve had to make some hard choices in how I spend my money in order to do that. It’s a process I’m working on, learning and growing from.
I had to hit rock bottom, after repeating the debt cycle a few times before I finally realized all the little, daily habits that got me in trouble. I’ve become much more mindful of those little habits so I can change them and change my future.
Don’t rob yourself of your future. You deserve that freedom.
Find and live your passion
What do you have to live for today and for the rest of your life? Your job? Or things you’re truly passionate about?
I personally think that each one of us was placed on this earth to help others (people, animals, the planet, you choose) with the unique passions and talents we were born with. It’s up to us to find out what those passions and talents are and start expressing them to the world. The world is waiting for you. That’s what I’m doing here on this blog and with the coaching and products I’m offering.
Most of us have lots of old programming that tells us to stifle our true selves in order to fit in. It may be difficult to get out there and discover what our passions and talents are. Those passions and talents may be something that has nothing to do with what we went to school for or what our jobs and careers have been about. Get creative and experiment. You’ll never know what lights your fire until you try.
For example, I’m now a writer. I never thought I could write. When I started writing my blog, I still didn’t consider myself a writer. I was just putting information out there that might hopefully help other people (my passion). And none of this had anything to do with being an accountant or a finance executive.
Think about how you want to spend the rest of your life. Do you want to stay tied to a job that offers no real security now or in the future? Or do you want to take your future into your own hands and be happy and free?
How do you define freedom?
How are you living it every day?
See how some other awesome bloggers define freedom here.
Visit my Recommended Resources page where I post the latest list of books, programs, and products that I’ve found to be particularly helpful in growing your mindfulness and meditation practices.
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Loved your take on freedom Paige. How often do we get caught up in old ideas and habits of freedom without ever choosing what it might mean for us. Or what fits our dreams and lifestyle. Your encouragement and inspiration are always powerful.
Paige, for me freedom has a direct inverse relationship with money. I don’t have much debt at all. I even own my house outright, but I never feel free as long as I have to/need to make money. I get little snippets here and there and like you stress, the goal is to have my money make money for me. I’m getting there.
In my case, my friends are always supporting me for any Ideas I came up with 🙂 Very helpful post.
Hi, great insights. Freedom for me is enhancing your passion in life, making the most out of it, expressing yourself and just being happy with what you really want in life. Thanks for sharing. Great post.
I love reading a post that can make men and women think.
Also, many thanks for allowing me to comment!
HA! My husbands idea exactly! I want a tiny house, he agrees, his proposal is; one for living, one for sleeping and one for office/play.
Great minds think alike ; )
That’s awesome! Maybe we start our own community – Yurtville!
HA! Yurts! I’m thinking tiny house on big land . . . ; )
You got it! Three yurts for living, sleeping and working/playing on about 100 acres. Ahhhhh!
So much of what you said resonated with me Paige. Now in my second half of life my perspective on the big house (big mortgage) go, go, go lifestyle, etc. has completely shifted. I’m a bit aimless at the moment but in action on focusing and simplifying my path even more. I just watched an excellent talk on UCSF TV about the ‘superwomen syndrome’ I though you would enjoy. About a quarter of the way though she launches into solutions and statistics which are quite fascinating. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2grFNSvanI&feature=em-subs_digest&list=TLvoSeYcAnOLE
Thanks so much for your fabulous blog Paige!
Thanks so much for this link Darris! Awesome!
I have to agree with you on the lifestyle approach. In my younger days, I thrived in big cities, climbing the corporate ladder as quickly as I could and the related trappings. Now I love living in the middle of nowhere and look forward to exchanging my house for a couple yurts on even more property. I love the connection with nature living in the mountains of Colorado.
There’s no rule that says you have to have a goal or mission at all times. I’ve quite enjoyed the times in my life when I didn’t. It’s amazing how much we take for granted the messages from society that we’re programmed with. Floating and being aimless are just fine if that’s what makes you happy.
Thanks so much for being here!!
Hi paige……..home, children and friends are makes us to feel nice even when we are in stress. I used to have a best friend but just because of lack of time I lose him……But now i changed myself totally. your post seems wonderful for creating good things in mind.
Thanks Prakash! Yes, home, children and friends can be a huge source of comfort as well as stress, depending on how we view our relationships with them. Many times it’s those who are closest to us that work the hardest to keep us from growing and being our best. We must do what’s best for us, not them.
I had to laugh in agreement with your section on kids. My son James lived on four continents before he was four years old. His passport had extra pages glued in. And he’s autistic. Yes, kids do change your life in big ways. But you can still model living with the freedom you want your kids to have.
That’s such a perfect way of looking at things Galen! “Model living with the freedom you want your kids to have.” And kuddos to you for bringing your son on your adventures/life!
Kids don’t learn what they really need in life from school. They learn from their parents’ moment-to-moment actions, decisions, emotional states.
I recently read that kids are more “damaged” by parents who come home stressed and unhappy from their jobs than they are from parents who come home late but happier. However we are around our kids teaches them that that’s the way life is.
It sounds like James is off to a great start! Thank you!
Hi Paige,
First time to your site but I feel like I just stumbled on a place all my friends have been keeping a secret from me.
I see Justin and Tess and Bryan all here who I regularly check out myself, but this was the first time finding your blog.
So glad I did. I hadn’t thought about Freedom from this perspective. Especially when it came to my friends.
I define freedom as, “Having the ability to live your life as you naturally would like to live it.” You’re not free when you feel constrained to live a certain way because “you have to” or “people will think less of me if I am myself.”
Great read,
Bryce
Thank you so much Bryce and welcome! I’m so glad you found me!
There are so many ways of looking at freedom and so many ways we limit our own freedom.
Using your definition, is the way you “naturally would like to live” life based on your own values, likes, desires and decisions or those of your friends and society? I’m guessing that you’ve done enough work to know the difference and are following your own path.
There are many people and groups that make decisions simply to rebel against something rather than to support their own values. And they wonder why they’re still not happy. Rebelling is still giving our power to someone else by trying to do the opposite of what the other person wants instead of what we truly want or what’s good for us.
So happy to have you here Bryce and thank you for the very kind words!
Awesome words of wisdom Aileen! Some of my best times in life have been when I didn’t know how to do something big. I always knew the answer would be there for me and I moved forward. True, it wasn’t always easy but it was a great adventure!
Thank you Aileen!
“Don’t blame your kids for slowing you down. Take them along for the ride.” 🙂 Freedom really is a personal choice – a choice to be willing to see things differently and open one’s mind to find creative solutions.
It may not seem easy to do – or realistic – but it’s worth the journey. A life well lived, is the ultimate blessing.
Love your perspective 🙂
Thanks for one’s marvelous posting! I certainly enjoyed reading it, you will be a great author.I will make sure to bookmark your blog and will eventually come back later on. I want to encourage you to continue your great writing, have a nice evening!
Thanks Chrystal! So glad you enjoyed it!
Beautiful post Paige and so true! Tearing down those “ingrained” walls of thought are very freeing. I started my business 20 years ago at the same time my husband started his and we “survived”. We have been completely debt free (including our house) for 6 years and talk about freedom. You down realize how well you will make it until you step out into the unknown. Thanks again for your words and reminders.
Wow Gay! Completely debt free! You guys ROCK! I’d say you’ve done much more than just survive. Combining no debt with the knowledge that you can make conscious choices in every aspect of your lives – that’s the ultimate freedom! There are plenty of people with millions in the bank that will never feel that free (I know a few). Congratulations!
Hi Paige! I love your outlook on taking chances! There is truly no excuse for not having a breathtaking experience in this life right now. Every moment is an opportunity for something unique and great to manifest. We may not have the experience we wanted at that moment, but we have opportunities for new experiences if we open ourselves up to it! With children, with jobs, with passions, and with other people. Boldly! Great post!
Exactly Bryan!
Especially with our kids, every moment is a huge opportunity to impact the future – the future of our wee ones and the future of their/our world. Sometimes when I get focused on the computer, one of my kids will demand my attention. While initially I feel a little annoyed at the intrusion, when I look into their eyes, all I feel is the love. I focus on them for a few minutes, giving them the attention they’re looking for. When those moments are over, we’re both happily back to whatever it is we were doing. I’m so lucky to be able to share so much time with my kids!
We may not always have the moments we want but, in the end, we get the moments we need.
Some great advice Paige! Esp. our ideas of home and retirement. As our kids leave the roost for college, I need to let go of some of my ideas. Thanks for a great post!!
Thanks Betsy! It’s funny how attached we can become to our ideas without ever questioning where they came from or if they serve us. I know I’ve had plenty of these. I used to be so adamant about being right. When I started choosing being happy over being right, I started to be OK with examing my long-held beliefs. Under the bright light of scrutiny, some crumbled while others held up. It’s definitely worth it to take that close look and know that our choices support our values and not someone else’s.
I love reading these things as a reminder to keep doing it! I took most of these things into a reality way of living when I decided to change my entire lifestyle and go live a dream in Hawaii.
There were what some would call sacrifices, but living with less and having my time to enjoy the ocean, my own little family including my dogs, new friends and having family come and visit now are more than worth it. It took a plan like you’ve outlined and some resolve to stick to it.
Dreams do come true!
I love your story Jt! You’ve made a lot of very conscious decisions to live life on your terms and you’re reaping the many benefits of that. Some of those decisions may not be easy but, if you follow your heart, you won’t have regrets. And your dreams come true when you learn how to follow your heart.
Great stuff here Paige. I agree about the whole retirement thing. There are so many people that think that after 65 they can sit back and do nothing. I plan on working for myself and contributing to the world for as long as I can. Hopefully I am still blogging then.
I totally agree with you Justin. My father retired last October at the age of 70. When I talked to him the other day he talked about how he and his wife “do nothing” every day. And they can’t wait to move to Florida soon to continue to “do nothing.” They seem to love it and I’m glad they’re happy. I just couldn’t see myself doing the same.
My kids (the 5 & 7 year olds) ask me how old I’ll be when I die. I tell them that I’ll be 104 – the longer I live, the more people I can help.
Paige,
I take weekends of most evenings away from my computer. We just spent the weekend hiking. I’m ready to go today!
I’m working on getting to the same point, Tess. Funny how I live in the middle of the woods but take advantage of it so little. I have so much that I’m creating and accomplishing online that I’m choosing to spend more time on my computer. It definitely makes me appreciate where I live that much more when I do venture out.
I may not live in the States but our economy is tied to what’s happening over your end.
My family has been almost debt-free for years. Property prices are way higher here in Singapore than in the States. So yes, we have been enjoying freedom. A few years ago, we made the decision not to buy a second home, after selling our first. We have been renting and waiting for the market to move in our favor (hopefully soon). At all times, my husband and I agree that we refuse to be weighed down by a big loan.
It’s great that downturns offer great opportunities for new perspectives, flexibility and creativity. Freedom is really up to us to create. Whether owner-occupied or rented, we make the decision that is best aligned with how we wish to live.
Great discussion on freedom! I look forward to reading the rest of the posts! Thank you!
Thanks Evelyn!
It’s so engrained into the American psyche that a mortgage is expected, that it’s not really debt. That’s so not true, as you and your husband are making the choice to avoid it. I’ve been in the situation twice now where I’ve lost a job, leaving us unable to pay our mortgage. A mortgage is debt, just like any other. I’m working hard to build a real business online so that I can make short order of that huge debt and never feel that someone owns my income again.
As you’ve said, it has taken some big downturns to push me hard enough to follow my passions. And I’m grateful for those downturns.
Hello Paige,
I would say that it is time to get reeducated financially. My husband and I kept repeating the same mistake of listening to financial analysts who unfortunately have not been giving us great advice. Then again, we cannot blame them either because we made the choice to listen to them and not do our own homework. What we see is our hard earned savings in the form of so-called “investments” dwindling.
The way I see is that the best investment we can ever make is in ourselves and our own businesses. So good for you in getting wanting to work hard for a real business online! I wish you every success!
All the best,
Evelyn
Thank you Evelyn!
The days of the “safe and secure” job are long gone. The only way to ensure our own financial security is to take complete ownership and responsibility for it. Creating our own assets, as you said – investments in ourselves and our own companies – not investments in other people’s companies as the analysts suggest – is the way to freedom.
Robert Kiyosaki’s Cash Flow Quadrant opened my eyes years ago. I’m choosing not to be owned by someone else’s business as an employee or to be owned by my own business where I have to trade hours for dollars. I’m choosing to create a business/asset that I can leverage infinitely.
I wonder if the lack of financial education in the school systems is a purposeful omission to keep the general public tied into a system that keeps the masses controlled in oh-so-many ways. Hmmmmm
One big thing I took away from this post is the people telling you to get real and live in their comfortable mediocrity. I never though about it like this before but its so true, why not support people with idea and encourage them or even help them. I think I have the most negative group of friends out of anyone I know!
Sounds like you might need a new group of friends, Crissy! It can be difficult to do this if you focus on what you might lose in the process. Think about the wonderful benefits you’ll reap the rest of your life with positive supportive friends.
Hi Paige,
Wonderful post! We can easily get caught up in fitting in with the norm. I’ve owned a home for many years, and this is the first time in my life that I’ve questioned the wisdom of home ownership. The one silver lining to the economic turndown, is that suddenly people realize that the old rules don’t apply any more, and they can feel more free to explore other options because they have nothing to lose. It is refreshing to see people being creative with their lives and trying new things. Opportunities arise that we may have missed otherwise.
Exactly Cathy! It frequently takes difficult times to push us to see ourselves and our environment differently and start making better choices. And we’re all free to make whatever choices WE choose.
Thank you!
good advice. have to create freedom for ourselves. so many times we bound ourselves so tightly we don’t even know
Noch Noch
Very true Noch Noch. One of my previous posts was called The Chains That Bind Us Are Our Own. It takes responsibility to choose our own freedom and that’s scary for many.
Thank you!
Hi Paige,
For me, my financial habits are hindering my freedom. It’s what I’m working on. I still have a lot to learn but I’m grateful that I’m wiser now and more aware and I can move on from there.
I know how hard it is to get out of the debt cycle and I had to learn how to apply the brakes and be mindful of those daily habits that accumulate.
I’m in the process of working on that safety net of savings that you mentioned and with focus and determination, I know I can change my future for the better.
Thanks for sharing your valuable tips.
Theresa,
It sounds like you’ve taken the first huge step: taking personal responsibility for your own financial picture. That’s so critical. I’m quite confident that you’ll reach your goals soon. Best of luck!
Paige,
Great post. I agree with you. We were all buying homes thinking that having a mortgage was a great deduction but now that we see the reality of what a housing downturn can do to values and how a slow economy contributes to rising consumer debt it’s time to listen up! Renting ain’t so bad. Having no debt is true freedom. Thanks for this.
So true Angela! Freedom = no debt, however it’s achieved. Much of the standard financial advice just doesn’t hold water any more. Home ownership, retirement, job security – definitions and features of these things have changed dramatically in the last five years. It’s time that we re-consider them and make choices based on our core values and not what we’re “supposed to” do.
Excellent read Paige. Thank you so much. Definitely gives me a new perspective on renting the home we currently live in 🙂
Glad I can help, Kimmie! There are so many possibilities these days. If you own a big house, possibly move into a smaller, inexpensive apartment while you rent out the big house. Or move into part of the house and rent out the rest.
There are many more considerations than just financial ones. Making choices based on our core values instead of the latest financial advice ensures much more individual happiness.
This is awesome Paige! I’m a renter myself and finally came to the conclusion a couple of years ago that I wasn’t going to buy anything soon. It just didn’t make any sense, not in terms of my lifestyle (I like to be mobile) and not financially. Finally! Someone tells the truth!
Huge hugs!!
Melody
Thanks Melody! I’m finding that there are many “truths” that just don’t hold up after a little thought and scrutiny. There are very few things that can apply to all people. We all come from different places physically, mentally and emotionally and, therefore, see the world and make choices from vastly different places.
In my twenties, after I got married (the first time), everyone urged me to buy a house. I resisted. In my heart it just didn’t seem like the right time. I’m happy I didn’t as I needed to be more mobile back then. Today I’m quite happy in the home I own. Times change and our needs and choices change.
Friends for me was an important one. I had to literally leave a whole group of ‘friends’ when I was younger, because their influence on me was hindering my freedom.
It’s amazing how “friends” can drag us down. Good for you, Hiten, to make the bold move to leave the friends who didn’t support you. You certainly have a lot of very supportive friends online!
Thanks Paige! Yes, it’s amazing how we can make connections, with such amazing and supportive friends online! 🙂
Hi Paige,
I believe each and every one of us have a unique life purpose. You have obviously found yours. I have recently discovered my own true purpose and it is a beautiful experience. It is so freeing to know clearly the reason for my being and to recognize the people I am here to serve.
What is wonderful is that there are so many ways to bring our passions and dreams in to reality. We’re living in a very exciting time.
I too am a writer and have recently discovered I am a life purpose and healing coach. I want to show people that healing is possible for them but not only that there is a unique purpose for their life. I am hosting an upcoming teleconference this Sunday entitled 3 Steps to Healing and Discovering Your Life’s Purpose.
I am so grateful to be living in a free country where I can express and share my gifts with those whom I’ve come to serve.
Peace, Love & Gratitude,
Neseret
Neseret,
Congratulations on knowing your purpose, following it and being successful with it! It’s a beautiful thing!
And congrats on your teleconference! I hope it’s a HUGE success!!
Interesting points about renting vs. owning a house. Personally, I’d rather have $.25 than $0, and even if most of your mortgage payment goes to interest, at least a little of it goes to equity each month, unlike renting. Also, in a lot of areas, your mortgage payment is less than the rent would be on a comparable place to live. That’s certainly true where I live–I couldn’t rent a place for my mortgage payment without worrying all the time whether I was going to get stabbed on the way to the car.
But really, the most important deciding factor is what you want to do. If you want to be free to move, renting is the only choice that makes sense.
Exactly Cara! It’s all about your chosen lifestyle.
In my area it’s the exact opposite. Property values have stagnated or fallen so mortgage payments are pretty high while rent is low (people buying houses out of foreclosure or other screamin’ deals and able to rent nice houses for cheap).
While I hate paying all that interest every month, I love my home and I love where I live.
The bottom line is we all have choices.
Thanks for your comments!
Paige,
You give some outstanding advice! I wish I had understood the wisdom of renting vs. buying before I bought my house.
Thank you for the encouragement to not use children as an excuse, but to take them with you. Our plans to sail to different countries are all about showing our children what a wonderful world we live in.
Mike
Thanks Mike!
I can’t wait for you and your family to realize your dream of sailing the world. I’m looking forward to hearing about all the wonderful journeys and lessons in your new life!